Islanders get Your Gun! The Broadway hit!

Look at me, I'm Ricky Dee. Lousy with virginity. Wont go to bed till I'm a legally wed. I can't I'm Ricky Dee!

Margee, the Islanders head guard is currently unavailable for smack talk as I write this post. I have made up for her absence by putting a paper cutout of her next to me. And as I take advantage of this, I am going to destroy her team bit by bit.

So admit it Margee, no one likes your Islanders.

...

Don't you reckon that Jason Blake should leave and sign on with another team?

...

I don't like your orange vest by the way.

...

So that's the short and long of it. I'm right now boarding a militiary vessel to an unspecified location as I'm sure Margee's wrath is something you should never face.

However as I depart let's look at the combined number of hits executed by each team. The Islanders have 1393 whereas the Habs only have 1311. But Komisarek wins hands down individually with 203 while Hunter is no match with 186. You win this round Islanders. But don't be surprised if a phantom Jordi has been pushing other Habs into Islanders this game to increase our hit count. And huzzah for Sammy hitting the double digits for his hits! He gets an extra dollar this week to buy his candy.

Random Trade Rumourz.

So here I am, reading random things and thinking whether I should write a post on A) How much I still hate Roger Federer or B) Why the Habs do NOT suck ass or C) Roloson is the shit. I know that dreaded Trade Deadline is looming soon so being the glutton for punishment I am, I head over to reading the usual plethora of "what-ifs".

"Al" sends in the following on Georges Laraque: "1250 ESPN Radio reports Georges Laraque could become a Penguin if he waives his NTC. Laraque was a healthy scratch for the Coyotes in their game tonight against Calgary".

FUCK. NO. I WILL PERSONALLY MURDER PEOPLE OVER IT. I DON'T WANT TO SEE LARAQUE DRESS AS A MORON FOR NEXT SEASON.

*runs away crying*

As a farewell note, here's the cutest most adorable conga line you'll ever see. Choo choo!



I know I wasn't on last night. I'll be on tonight. Count on it. If not I'll post Capschick's number.

Bergy Bergy Bergy!

Hello kids, I'm your lovable troll:

It was pretty exciting coming here. It's a fresh breath to be with new guys and a new system. Everyone here has been really nice to me, and it's nice to turn a new page.

Which probably means "the guys aren't throwing things at me, which is an improvement".

I kid I kid.

I think I feel for this kid more than I pretend.

Shame about the face though.

For a friendly non-game post and intermission...

SHUT THE FUCK UP PRONGER.

Seriously.

One of these days, your wife is gonna scissor kick you in the back of the head while you're banging the cleaning lady.

OILERS LOSE!

Now that's something hot.

Oh wait, Habs won too. High five! Gimme one too sistah! Oh wait, sorry. Seems like Halak had a pretty good game, but it's so crazy. As soon as I remind myself that Higgins is struggling so hard along with Ryder (whom I admit I have been belitting a bit) the guys decide to tell me that they dont suck and fish out two goals. Each. Judging from the lengthy list of penalties, it was a vicious game. Frankly I think Perezhogin needs some ritalin or something because this guy seems a little dangerous with the stick and I don't mean that in a good way.

And it's great. I'm unsure about the Nashville game (we have not seen them for a while) but I'm a bit jittery to be honest. The playoff bubble is a terrifying thing - it snatches the dreams or it gives it to you like a magic 8 ball that displays a "BETTER LUCK NEXT YEAR DUMBASS". While my Oilers have a very slim chance - and that would be pushing it - I'm just happy that Jussi got to do his job. He never gets the wins but he's a nice guy. Honest. Plus he has a super smile and makes Roli laugh after every game.

In other news, a town sees everything a goalie has to offer. Seriously.

I now depart you boys and girls, I will have work tomorrow but I will be free Friday (That's your Thursday) hopefully hearing about a great game from Capschick and as well how my Habs fare against those darn Preds.

Let's do this.

I don't think the backup goalie needs to see your hip thrusts Higgins.

WE GONNA BEAT YOUR OVIE SO HARD HE'S GONNA HAVETA GO TO HIS GAMES IN A WHEELCHAIR!

I now have the world's longest blog post title.

Nonetheless I will unfortunately be unable to tune into the Habs matchup against the darling Caps (someone just reminded me my classes start next week and apparently I need to *grumble* meet new people) whom I have taken a liking to (mostly because they are non-threatening and have Ovechkin... And other guys?) Capschick is the king/queen/overlord of pregame posts so I reckon you should mosey on over there.

Frankly I want the Habs to win, it's killing me that they're still not quite up to scratch. Additionally, as pointed out by Macaskill in his post, the Islanders are currently hovering on the same bubble that the Habs are playing with - the Islanders have an advantage with the same amount of points but one less game played. My beloved Marc-Andre Bergeron has somewhat settled in already, finishing with a +2 and 2 secondary assists beating the Pens. Hell why'd the Islanders have to go and break the streak instead of the Caps? Why can't you Pens be at least useful for anything?

Dear old Bergeron, always good at screwing me over. The colours look amazingly well on him though.

When we see the Caps, I can only hope we can bring it. Halak would be expected to get the start - especially since Atrocious Abby will be sitting on the bench for games to come. I love Abby muchly and I do love Halak's promise in his recent game. But I was excited about Higgins returning from his injury and he's still trying but not exactly hitting home. Couple that with my hope for Aebischer to step up and remember when everyone was hailing Maxim Lappiere as the solution? I'm not stepping on the wagon, I seem to break the wheels when I do.

Nonetheless to continue "good sportsmanship" in the conference rivals whom I do not hate as much as Pens/Leafs/Canes/Sens/everyone else, here is Ricky DiPietro doing what he loves best - ambushing teammates with the mighty goalie gear of doom.

And then, an angel appeared.

HALAK IS THE SHIT!

I wore my Habs shirt today. I went out with my friends, reminding me of another game I went out with my friends, with a Habs shirt, and the day ended with an awesome Canadiens win. Then I go home, write in my diary over it.

Today was no different.

I am pleased, very pleased. I gave a long hysterical laugh over it. It's the Blue Jackets, sure they're no biggie. They've been beaten since 199whatever. But maybe this has instilled some faith in the team and the fans. So the AHL-standout's been called up, we're at our lowest point. If we lost, it would be nothing. However if they won, it'd be a wonderful release of pressure from our chests. Victory's a very foreign thing lately.

I felt defeated, and I was still believing in it. Goddamnit, I haven't had everyone comfort me for nothing. I dashed home, typed in the url as quick as I could and pressed enter. I won.

I gave a hysteric laugh, I grinned madly. I even jumped up and down in happiness.

And it felt good.

However it is somewhat unfortunate that a recent Oiler has departed to seek his fortunes. I mean I may have booed this guy a bit too much. I might've had too much fun, to say the least. He was no Smith, no Staios. But when he wasn't out making boneheaded judgements, he sometimes does something so surprising and so out of character that I do sometimes say "wow". However it is because it was so random and obscure that sometimes I felt that I overlooked it too easily.

Damn it, I'm feeling sorry for this fucking troll. I liked him sometimes because he was our bad d-man. I know I offered him to many other teams with a picture of Scarlett Johanssen and two pretzels. I usually never got many takers. But he was that bad potato/rock/gem (yes gem. That's it.) no one wanted. And you just kept it as your own, hoping one day everyone would be envious and dream for it.

It seems wrong you know? giving up a nice draft pick along with it. For a prospect. It sounds really boneheaded but I want to believe that this has a possible upside to it. Not just that but MAB must really be feeling the low parts of it, the Oilers door has slammed shut on him. No way in his right mind would he re-sign with the Oilers already knowing what the organisation really sees how much he is worth. I know a generic Oiler fan would just go "fine, we didn't need him. He's replacable". But the part of me has fallen in love with each Oiler member to a certain extent. Even this unlovable kid that I claimed to hate so much. He was the challenge to the Oiler perfection of "hotness", he made my game experience bad or good. He was as important as other boys in the team.

And I did kind of believe in MAB. He had a possibility to become a nice offensive d-man - not great but a nice booster addition. Even if his defensive skills were a little lacking, he had nice wheels and a killer slapshot. Sure it mostly went wide but when he scored, I usually screamed "Damn you Marce-Andre Bergeron!" in a somewhat endearing manner. To me it's to remember the moments where I screamed "NOOOO GET HIM OFF THE FUCKING ICE IF YOU WANT TO WIN!", and how now I can somewhat stand him - most times.

Ah well, what has happened has happened. (As a side note: check out this blog's take on it which seems somewhat flattering and full of love. You were loved Bergeron, it's a pity we didn't show enough of it.) And the new guy's no slouch either.

See that smile? Pretty aint it? Grebeshkov - shall I start nicknaming him Greebo? His name's a bit of a bitch. However many people have been scouting him out. I can't really regurgitate the numbers back, it seems pretty pointless anyway. Nonetheless allow me to draw attentiont to his pretty nose, those pearly whites and a well shaped jaw which says "I never quit". Couple that with locks that say "I care enough about my appearance to get a haircut but I play hockey hard enough to not to care if there's a lopsided fringe". Why yes Denis boy, you have won a semi fan in Jordi. If you are given a chance to succeed, goddamnit you better take it. Or else you'll be back in Russia, which you probably don't mind. But wait till your 5th game or so and maybe I'll ring your number to tell you whether I'm loving it or packaging you in a FedEx box with Scarlett Johanssen photos and three pretzels. Come on Greebo, don't blow it.

And on a lighter note: Ooh Theodore! Not there!

Random conversations make Jordi go boom.

There I got your attention. *barfs in a bucket*

THERE IS NO GAME THERE WAS NO GAME THERE WILL BE NO GAME.

Anyway allow me to direct you to random thoughts. Because I don't want to think of the bloodbath of sorts where not just one but two of my teams go down like a badly managed brothel. It seems that when I start up AIM, it's mainly there for chatting for people in other countries or are MSN-challenged. So we all swap random videos, photos and have conversations that are mainly fiction. And most recently, thanks to AQ I am now muchly amused by Mccarty "you may take away my riches but you may never take away my dignity!".

Nonetheless here are some random exchanges that are hockey/non-hockey related:

gunstress@gmail.com: hrmm what clubs can I join in university?
ddhockeygirl: fencing
ddhockeygirl: debate
ddhockeygirl: cheerleading
ddhockeygirl: av
ddhockeygirl: yearbook
ddhockeygirl: chess
ddhockeygirl: physics
ddhockeygirl: shop
ddhockeygirl: drafting
ddhockeygirl: knitting
ddhockeygirl: cooking
ddhockeygirl: shoe making
ddhockeygirl: tiling
ddhockeygirl: iron work
ddhockeygirl: horse riding
ddhockeygirl: wagon driving
ddhockeygirl: radio
gunstress@gmail.com: slow down!


gunstress@gmail.com: Malkin's outside
ddhockeygirl: Geno?
ddhockeygirl: Why?
gunstress@gmail.com: waiting for Ovi to accept him
ddhockeygirl: did he come with jordan?
ddhockeygirl: oh!
ddhockeygirl: HE DID!
ddhockeygirl: *looks around*
ddhockeygirl: where's sid?
gunstress@gmail.com: Dead
gunstress@gmail.com: unfortunate accident
gunstress@gmail.com: no details
ddhockeygirl: no
ddhockeygirl: no death
ddhockeygirl: death is bad
gunstress@gmail.com: fine
gunstress@gmail.com: he's just tied up
gunstress@gmail.com: in a ditch
ddhockeygirl: ok
ddhockeygirl: funny how that doesn't bother me, yet death does....

gunstress@gmail.com: I blame Zambonis
DCCapsChick27: hahah - yeah, we'll call that the "Paul Maurice" way
gunstress@gmail.com: you with me?
gunstress@gmail.com: ahaha sure
gunstress@gmail.com: It's Denial Stage 1
DCCapsChick27: so that's why the Caps can't win in shootouts...
DCCapsChick27: damn zambonis
DCCapsChick27: even at home - it's a conspiracy, I'm telling you

gunstress@gmail.com: AEBISCHER LOST HIS STICK TRYING TO SHOVE THAT STICK UP BRINDAMOUR'S ASS

And as a short prelude, this is Chloe, whose Oiler fangushings helped me become one myself. In fact, things got so heated we split up the roster in half (I'm terrible at negotiations and had lost basically everyone). As well we have concluded that Smid is Staios' kid. Resulting in our exchanges:

[06:20:03 PM] jordi.: STAIOS SLEPT WITH MACT?
[06:20:15 PM] ??? » he sho: once upon a hockey practice
[06:20:26 PM] ??? » he sho: Staios slept with MacT
[06:20:32 PM] ??? » he sho: 9 practices later, the results were in
[06:20:34 PM] ??? » he sho: there was a ..
[06:20:40 PM] ??? » he sho: baby.. Lupul and baby Smid
[06:20:49 PM] ??? » he sho: both separated at birth, as one is d and
the other isn't
[06:20:58 PM] ??? » he sho: they went on practicing to their hearts
content!
[06:21:05 PM] jordi.: AHAHA
[06:21:23 PM] jordi.: It was during the offseason
[06:21:28 PM] jordi.: they went on a cruise boat
[06:21:30 PM] ??? » he sho: oh yea!
[06:21:32 PM] ??? » he sho: gagh
[06:21:36 PM] ??? » he sho: but 9 practices later
[06:21:40 PM] ??? » he sho: it has to be practices!
[06:21:47 PM] jordi.: OKAY!
[06:21:49 PM] ??? » he sho: Staios slept with.
1. MacT
2. Juice!
[06:21:54 PM] jordi.: AHAHA
[06:22:03 PM] jordi.: And then they both popped out?
[06:22:13 PM] ??? » he sho: JUCE IS LUPU'LS DAD?!
[06:22:14 PM] ??? » he sho: WOAHA
[06:22:16 PM] jordi.: from a net?
[06:22:19 PM] ??? » he sho: DOUBLE..MIPREGANATION!
[06:22:19 PM] ??? » he sho: YES
[06:22:30 PM] ??? » he sho: FROM A NAET!
[06:22:30 PM] ??? » he sho: oh frick jordi we're sick girls!

I like to waste time and everything.

LETS DO THIS!

Aebischer in, I was actually hoping he'd be in. Just personally. Who is Duncan Milroy and why is he being called up for the Habs?

We're possibly going to go against an injury ridden Canes team. If we lose this, my love affair with Coach is over. I'll break his china patterns and I'm going west. I think Carbonneau's trying to break the Wayne Gretzky record for weirdest bench faces.
Come on Habs, don't break my heart!

Oh and happy Chinese New Year to you dinks.